Week 20: Artichoke

My Big Ultrasound is this week! I got pretty nervous beforehand with the way people talked about it. They would have this reaction like, "Oh boy.. let me know how it goes, OK?" But it turned out just wonderful. I got to see his little face multiple times, and that amazing heart beat. I still had not felt him kick but he was definitely kicking my bladder the whole appointment long. The ultrasound tech was, to say the least, DIGGING into my belly with that jelly ball. It was so painful at some points I could not even breathe. I don't know if that was normal. My stomach was bruised for days after.
After the appointment, I was feeling very nauseated (still) and so Matt took me to the back room at Cotopaxi and made me hot chocolate. I am not a hot chocolate girl, but it tasted like heaven. He's a rockstar at all things that Matt. (since then I have bought hot chocolate from costco, but its just not the same when I make it..)
I made it home still very sick but I know it is all worth it.

On Wednesday (11/18/15) with Laura to LA. Britt drove us to the airport and I decided to not complain about my nausea all day. But it was a BAD BAD day. I can complain on here :)
The car drive, security, the plane ride, the whole thing. Meanwhile all I had was a pretzel before the plane and driving back to Mindys. And Laura's driving.. sorry L... did not help not to mention the stress of being on a new freeway for her is high.. and it made itself present. Funny story though,
when we got off the plane we hurried to Hertz to get going and she checked in and got our car and we walk two cars down to lane 3 and says... "Welp this is it!" It's this massive White Tahoe and she's all mad cause she was hoping for a small car. I am loving it... those cars are seriously cool. I got a little materialistic for a moment because I started imagining Matt and I having enough money to one day buy one for us. Well after loading and trying to start the car for 5 minutes, Laura goes storming back to the hertz people to tell them the key won't work. Well turns out.. it was the wrong car. Ours was the Dodge in lot 22. Not even close to 3, but for some reason Laura looked at the keys, saw lot 22, and read lot 3. haha I don't understand but we laughed so hard.
But more importantly. On the plane ride, I couldn't do anything because I was so nauseated, but I decided to focus in on my stomach and see if I could feel Bowie.. and guess what? I DID!!!!!! Just once but it was the best once that has ever happened to me! It was like a little hand petting my insides. It was so sweet and gentle and wonderful!

The weekend was very fun and Kevin and Shelby were beautiful. Disneyland on Thursday was pretty awful, feeling like an outsider to the little trio of Kristi, Laura and Marina. We all had matching shirts, but awkwardly they would just take pictures of them three. I was in a few granted. But I don't even want to see them. It was nice to talk to Jessica (Wells) and hang out with Nolan. She always is real with me and I can be with her. I got to speak my mind more with her and she validated my feelings. It is nice to get that from someone who knows them. I, at one point, had to just save seats for the parade for everyone while they rode rides and took Elodie to the castle... Real fun. But I am grateful for Laura buying my ticket. I should not complain! I paid her back for the food though. I don't want to owe anything else. I drove home with Kristi and Branden and was so sick and my feet so swollen I wanted to die. haha I was squashed between Elodie and Marina sleeping on me and when we pulled up I got out as fast as I could to get away from everyone and just go to my sweet Matt. He drew a bath for me and I put my feet up because... really.. they were bigger than I've ever seen. Bigger than our trip to Spain. I could barely walk on them. I told Matt, we HAVE to go to Disneyland next summer with all of us and Baby Bowie. I missed Matt so much.
The rest of the week with Kristi was awful and she kept doing rude things but I started to grow tougher skin and move on. Which was nice. I turned on Francois Hardy and let myself meditate on the value of myself. Everything was a stressball with all of Matt's family, so to get away on Saturday was a gift from God. I didn't even feel like talking to Nicole or anyone. There was just a weird spirit. But I had a BLAST with matts younger cousins. Stormy, Sophie, Sara, Sadie, and Josh Lewis. They love me and it felt good to be loved. I feel so happy with them and I tried to get closer with Lex and chat with her. It was a lovely wedding, and I just kept eating because my nausea would never die.

I met wonderful people Friday night. They are family friends of McArthurs and we stayed at their house. Vicki and Jon. They treated me so kindly. She came and rubbed my swollen feet, talked to me, brought me water and made us breakfast in the morning. She was an angel and I want to be with her again. She is a true disciple of Christ. Not LDS but a woman with the Light of Christ shining through her in every way. I tried the last few days to feel Bowie again but nothing until Late Friday night, he suddenly kicked and kicked HARD! On the right side! I loved it so much it was incredible!!!!

Saturday was SEAWORLD!!!!!!!! Maddie, Mckay, Mackenna, and Leland all came and we had the best time!!! I was so happy to just be with my family, and just be. I didn't get to ride the rides but I didn't feel bad because I got to take pictures and I have a very special ride of my own I am on. The dolphins and Orcas and sea lions were amazing. But I do not support the place. We had free tickets so its ok we went.. we technically didn't support them except with buying Pudge our Penguin and my rainbow dip n dots. But man those orcas need to be let loose and live a normal life. I felt horrible for them. After the park we got thai food and lemonade. I didn't get any frozen yogurt and I was proud of myself. Even though my reasoning was that I wanted ben n jerrys at the grocery store later.. ahahah But I didn't get it! So its ok!
We stayed that night at Joyces and spent time chatting. I enjoyed that so much. We always get along! I felt so at home and peaceful. I shut out everyone else besides My Matthew, My Bowie and Joyce. Life is better when you are focused in like that.